KNOWN BY GOD
By Anna Acker-Macosko

 Many of you probably have not heard of me. My face hasn't been splashed across your Monday morning sports pages--yet. Actually, I am still chasing my first LPGA Tour win.

 While I have struggled like many players to get through the mini-tours and qualify for the "big leagues," I am here now, and looking back I find many ways that God's hand has guided my life--even when I felt He was a million miles away.

 I grew up as the youngest of five children. But it wasn't just us kids that made life full for my parents. Shortly before I was born, my dad, who was a PGA Class A professional had an opportunity to buy a nine-hole course in Marshfield, Wisconsin. My mom was happy to work with Dad on this venture. Working the golf course, building an additional nine, and raising that big family took a lot of work for everyone--especially around the time I was born.

 But God had His hand on my life even before that.

 In 1968, in the months before I was born, my mother was suffering from medical problems. Her physician ordered more than 30 x-rays of her stomach region. Neither my mom nor the doctor knew about me.

 When they found out I was in there, the doctor and his peers recommended a medically approved abortion. Because of the x-rays, they could not be sure how much radiation I had been exposed to. My parents, however, were practicing Catholics, and they would not even consider an abortion.

 I know it was ultimately my mother's decision, but what a horrible feeling of uncertainty she and my dad must have faced those nine months. My mom tells me she put her trust in God, and He gave them a healthy, normal little girl. (Well, my siblings and my husband might not always agree about that "normal" part!)

 The years went by and I grew to be the consummate tomboy. Football, baseball, golfÑany way I could tag along with my brothers and play, I did. I was a pain. Like any kid, good and bad episodes filled my childhood, but I know now that God protected me.

A 'DIFFERENT' JESUS

 One day, my sister Ang came home from her prayer meeting at her Catholic high school and she told me about Jesus in a new way. She explained how the nun who ran the meeting had taught about Jesus in a "different" way. My sister told me that if I accepted Christ into my life, He would always be with me, He would forgive me, and He would be my friend for life. That sounded great to my eight-year-old ears. My journey with Christ had begun.

 I do admit that through high school and college, I succumbed to the peer pressure of being cool. I was embarrassed if any of my friends discovered my deep relationship with Christ. This hiding of God lasted for more than 10 years. To be honest, it still happens every now and then.

 Yet God not only protected me during high school and college, He blessed me. Why would He do that when I was treating Him so lightly? All I can say is that He is a God of love and forgiveness.

 He blessed me in high school as I played junior golf in state and national tournaments. I played on the boys team (from the same tees) and won numerous awards. I was recruited by several Division I universities and eventually ended up at the University of South Florida.

 In addition to golf, God blessed me with the talent to play basketball. But during my senior year, I suffered a life-changing knee injury.

 Normally, a simple knee injury wouldn't be of great consequence to a golfer, but from the beginning, this injury was anything but normal. First, my injury was misdiagnosed. During my four years of college, I knew the knee was weaker. It didn't feel right, but I didn't think it was that serious.

 But one day I was shooting baskets on an outdoor court with my future husband, Ron. My knee gave out, and since my senior year of college was yet to come, I needed to have it checked out.

 Right about this time, Ron had actually considered breaking up with me. But here was perhaps God's biggest blessing of all. With my family far away in Wisconsin and my knee headed for a rendezvous with the "scope," Ron couldn't bring himself to break up right then. He knew I would need his post-surgery help. Sure enough, the extra time he stuck around is what kept us together for good!

 After finishing at South Florida, I made my way to the mini-tours. With long, slow travel and cheap motels, the mini-tours are anything but a blessing. But I still had Ron. I'm pretty certain I would have quit playing competitive golf a long time ago if I did not have his encouragement and help.

 At 25, my life was more full than I had ever planned. I was trying to make my way through Q-school, I had agreed to coach golf at South Florida for a semester, and then I was stricken by panic attacks. The last of these difficulties caused me to finally realize that all of this was more than I could handle alone. Fortunately, I had a friend who had also faced panic attacks, and her help was invaluable.

 But I also realized that I needed God again. So I simply began to pray. Because I was on the road, I listened to a lot of Christian music. By rebuilding my relationship with Christ, I was able to get things back in order.

 In 1996, I qualified for the LPGA Tour and I began building my career. In 1998, I finished 68th on the money list, with two promising top 10 finishes.

 1999 looked like it was going to be my breakout year. Instead, it was miserable, what some might call "a year from hell." Certainly, I did feel like I was under attack. I was not growing spiritually, my play was bad, my computer's hard drive crashed, and one more time I injured my knee. This time, it would require reconstructive surgery.

 The news from the doctors was not at all good. My anterior cruciate ligament would need to be replaced, using my own patella tendon. My meniscus would also need to be repaired, with four anchors to "staple" it together. A normal recovery from this kind of surgery takes six to nine months, with a full recovery taking at least a year.

 I wondered if I would ever return to playing professional golf. But through the bad times, God was waiting with the good just around the corner.

 For the first time in nine years of marriage, Ron and I spent six months together. Of course, he has been there for me all along, but last winter, he came through like a champÑespecially considering I was not a barrel of laughs.

 Spiritually, I was able to reconnect and accept the feeling of distance from God that I had experienced. I had a post-surgery blood clot in my calf, and my recovery was more difficult than "normal." But these problems put things in perspective. I had to trust God's work in my life through it all.

 God is faithful, so who am I to question that feeling of spiritual separation? Two scriptures brought particular comfort to me. The first was Romans 8:37: "We are more than conquerors through him who loved us." And I drew strength from Jeremiah 29:11, where the Lord says, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

 It has been more than 10 months since my surgery now. I was able to push my rehabilitation and get back to the Tour by May, sporting a most fashionable knee brace. It was hard to walk those first few months--and even now sometimes.

 The return has been good, but so was the time off. It gave me a new perspective on my faith, my marriage, and my career. I know now that I have an incredible life, one filled with blessings.

 When trouble comes, it isn't easy to see life this way. But hindsight really is 20/20, and looking back now, that is how I see God--much more clearly than ever before.

This article originally appeared in the Links Letter, October 2000.